


Paging Dr. Sexy

by Fallynleaf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Doing Feminine Things, Doctor Sexy M.D., Fanfiction, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 12:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1817737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallynleaf/pseuds/Fallynleaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean discovers Dr. Sexy, M.D. fanfiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paging Dr. Sexy

**Author's Note:**

> Because Dean is already a fan of Dr. Sexy, M.D. in traditionally feminine ways, so it only makes sense that he would participate in the fandom in a traditionally feminine manner, too.

During the slow period of research, when all of them were taking some form of a break, Dean glanced over at Charlie's laptop screen and asked, "What're you reading?"

"Harry Potter fanfiction," Charlie said. "It's my fallback fandom when one of my shows does something that pisses me off. Harry Potter's ended, so there isn't any new wank, and it still has more fic than any other fandom, so there's plenty of untapped wells of good material out there."

"What other fandoms have, uh, fic?" Dean said. He mainly just wanted to make conversation that was not about the monster of the week.

"Pretty much all of them. If there's a fanbase, there's fic. Though if your fandom is a book series by Anne McCaffery, or Anne Rice, or some other crotchety woman who doesn't appreciate fun, you might have to go underground to find the fic." Charlie typed something into the search bar. Dean wasn't really paying attention; his eyes had kind of glazed over at this point. "At the very least, the main fanfiction hubs won't host your stuff," Charlie continued. "Which is pretty much the equivalent of tossing any possibility of a thriving fanfic culture into Mount Doom."

"Uh, that's cool. I guess," Dean said. He didn't understand the point of fanfiction, really. The main attraction of television for him was the visuals, and any sort of novelization of a show or movie was basically like settling for drinking the dregs at the bottom of the container after draining the wine.

But then they were back to doing research, and Dean found himself trapped behind his laptop, and suddenly any aimless Google search seemed preferable to actually doing work.

So that was how Dean ended up Googling "dr sexy md fanfiction," and figuratively tumbled ass-over-heels into a whole new world.

The first fanfic Dean clicked on had the summary: "Palmer/Piccolo. Elevator sex." And really, Dean should have not at all been surprised at the contents of that one, but when Dr. Piccolo pulled Dr. Palmer's hard cock out of his pants, Dean's next bite of sandwich went down very roughly. He was pretty damn certain that had never happened in the show.

"This is porn," Dean commented out loud. "This is freaking _porn_." He glanced up from his laptop, took a moment to thank God that Sam wasn't in the room, and found Charlie giving him an expression with arched eyebrows.

"You discovered fanfiction, I take it," Charlie said. "What series?"

"It‒ It doesn't matter. Is all of this porn?" Dean asked.

"Most of it, yeah." Charlie seemed unperturbed, as if she was used to spending a good chunk of time reading honest-to-God _explicit hardcore pornography_ while simultaneously holding a casual conversation with other people in the same room. "Unlike the canon it's based on, fanfiction doesn't have to sidestep any censors," Charlie continued. "So things that couldn't or wouldn't happen in the show? They can happen in fic."

That's about when Sam walked back into the room, and Dean took a moment to be grateful that the desperate telepathic _shut up_ vibes he was sending Charlie's way appeared to get through, because the whole fanfiction conversation fizzled to an abrupt silence.

Dean made it about an hour before his curiosity brought him crawling back. He finished the "Palmer/Piccolo. Elevator sex" fic, then went back to the list on the first page of the archive and skimmed through it for anything that caught his eye. Which, with the general _newness_ of the whole thing, was most of it.

Dean learned probably at least five new words that day, not including all of the permutations of the word "fanfiction" that he picked up by context while talking to Charlie. A few of the most notable words were: "ship," "AU," and "PWP." Dean was less picky about the first than most people in the fandom appeared to be, but he learned to tread more carefully around the latter two, because some of it just got _weird_.

And hot.

As a rule, Dean needed strong visual imagery. He needed pictures of curving breasts and asses, vivid and flesh-colored and _tangible_. Words alone just didn't do it for him. Unless, apparently, they were words about Dr. Sexy. Needless to say, Dean very quickly came to understand some of the base appeal of fanfiction.

Except for the gay stuff. Of which there seemed to be quite a lot. Beneath the pages and pages of fics labeled Palmer/Piccolo lay a trove of Palmer/O'Riley. Dean stayed very, very clear of it.

When he next had the opportunity to talk with Charlie alone, he asked her what fandoms she read fanfiction for.

Charlie tipped her head, considering it. "I've at least looked into the fic for most books and shows I've enjoyed," she said. "Sometimes I stick around, sometimes I don't. What about you? What have you been reading?"

"Um," Dean said. His throat closed up, preventing him from mentioning it out loud. " _Dr. Sexy, M.D_ ," he finally said. He coughed.

Charlie blinked. "Never heard of it," she said. "But because you seem worried, don't be. Friends don't judge friends for the shows they like."

"Good. That's good," Dean expelled a breath. "So you read lesbian stuff, I take it?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Sometimes, when I can find it. Though I probably spend more time reading slash. That means‒"

"‒Dude on dude, I know," Dean cut in. "But I thought you weren't into dudes?"

"I don't have to be into dudes for it to be interesting," Charlie said, smiling. "It's not just all about the sex, you know."

"Yeah," Dean said. "Sometimes it's about Johnny Drake visiting the hospital before he dies then just watching as a ghost as everyone slowly forgets about him. Man, that one messed me up. It was deep stuff."

 

* * *

 

In such close quarters, even when they had the whole bunker to share between them, Sam was bound to find out eventually. Dean was just sure as hell that there was no way Sam would find out the specifics. If _Dr. Sexy, M.D._ was a guilty pleasure, then _Dr. Sexy, M.D._ _fanfiction_ was a _guiltier_ one.

Sam paused, once, halfway between the table and the hallway. "This is the tenth time I've looked over at your screen and saw just words, Dean," he said. "No moving images. No pictures. No creepy animated porn. What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," Dean said. He clicked away to a tab that was brazenly labeled "busty Asian babes" in flashing neon lettering. "Just looking for a case," he said.

"Okay. If that's true, then what have you found?" Sam asked.

"Nothing yet."

"Nothing. At all. After you've spent all day looking." The level of skepticism in Sam's voice was palpable. "Come on, Dean. I've seen the porn you like. Whatever you've been looking at can't be worse than that."

Dean massaged his temples, then turned towards Sam. "I'm reading, okay?"

"Reading. You, Dean, are _reading_. As in, a book," Sam said.

"Yes." Well, close enough, at least.

"What book?" Sam stepped nearer. Dean hastily killed some tabs.

"Uh, Moby Dick. There are whales," Dean said.

"Summarize what's happened so far," Sam ordered.

Dean scowled in annoyance. "What is this, high school English? I'm done with that crap."

"Alright. Who's your favorite character, then?"

"The main dude, I guess," Dean said.

"The narrator? The one with the peg leg?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Him." Dean sat back in his chair, satisfied that he'd managed to bullshit his way through Sam grilling him.

"Those are two different characters, Dean," Sam said. "Nice try feeding me bullshit. Though next time, if you're going to pretend to read a book, at least pick one you've actually read. Might be a tad more convincing." Satisfied at his victory, Sam sauntered off.

Dean exhaled in relief. He reopened the tabs from his recent history. It took him awhile to find his place in the fic he had been midway through when Sam had interrupted him, but he did find it, eventually, and then he settled in to finally read the resolution.

 

* * *

 

There was one well-reviewed and highly popular fic that Dean scrolled past every time. He hovered on it, sometimes. Almost clicked on it and plunged into the 59,736-word fan novella. It was Palmer/Piccolo, which Dean was usually totally down for, except this one took place in an alternate universe that re-imagined Dr. Piccolo as a young gay man with an otherwise unchanged backstory. In this AU, it took her, or rather it took _him_ , a lot longer to start hooking up with Palmer, who had to overcome his deep-seated homophobia first.

Dean had read the plot summary a good half-dozen times. He almost even read the first paragraph, once.

But _Dr. Sexy, M.D._ was not _Harry Potter_ ; the well of fan material was not unending. And Dean soon realized that at the rate he was going through the archive, he would be reaching the bottom of the barrel very, very soon if he didn't expand his reading preferences.

So one day, just like that, it happened. Sam was conked out for trials-related internal repair reasons, and Dean had several hours to kill while he waited it out. So as long as he didn't have to deal with the risk of Sam discovering him sitting still for hours in order to read _gay_ _Dr. Sexy, M.D._ _fanfiction_ , which had to be some new record level of shameful activity, Dean opened the link titled "The Cynical Moon is a Mile Away" and settled down to read it.

It was good. Really, really good. The writing and pacing were excellent, the characterization superb, and Dean found himself wholly and completely sucked in. Of course, it certainly helped some that the first 30,000 words were gay-sex-free, because Dean didn't actually know what to do when he got to that part.

But then, maybe he wouldn't have all that much trouble with it after all. To his surprise, Dean found himself _wanting_ Dr. Palmer and the male Dr. Piccolo to bang.

And when it finally happened, Dean just read through the sex scene and forgot to bat an eyelash at the fact that there were two dicks involved and no vaginas. And then, just like that, Dean had read and enjoyed his first gay fanfic.

After that, some sort of floodgates must've opened, because Dean stopped hesitating at the fics designated Palmer/O'Riley just because they were slash. It took him a little longer to get over the lingering discomfort that he was obligated to feel concerning anything that contained explicit gay sex, but it no longer kept him from reading it.

Honestly, Dean could more than deal with a little discomfort. It was better than the opposite.

That is, until Dean clicked on one fic that was definitely kinkier than his usual fare. And then Dean suddenly had a very, very clear mental image of Dr. Palmer receiving a blowjob from Dr. O'Riley while wearing nothing but his signature cowboy boots.

Dean jerked the mouse over and minimized the browser window. His heart started to pound in his chest. He stood up. Walked away from the computer. Grabbed his coat, his keys, and then his Baby. He thought about Sam as he drove, aimlessly sweeping the countryside. Then he worried about Cas, and about Kevin, letting his mind wander far, far away from thoughts of Dr. Sexy bracing himself against the wall in tall boots, his head tipped back, his long hair creased with sweat against his face.

It took Dean a long time to finish that fic.

But he did finish it.

Afterwards, he watched some old episodes of _Dr. Sexy, M.D._ on his laptop, fast-forwarding to the sex scenes, and as Dr. Palmer's bare back undulated over Dr. Piccolo, shadows catching on his skin, Dean knew. He knew with a strange twisting feeling in his gut. It was a quiet revelation, this one.

Because Dr. Piccolo wasn't the reason why Dean found the sex scenes between her and Dr. Palmer hot. It had been all about Dr. Sexy himself the whole damn time. Dr. Sexy striding down the hospital halls in those cowboy boots, Dr. Sexy redoing his shirt buttons in the elevator, Dr. Sexy's mouth moving against someone else's, his hair gently tousled‒

Dean took in a breath. Expelled it. Went back to the fanfic with the boots and the gay sex and let himself reread it with an all new perspective.

 

* * *

 

"Hey," Dean said to Charlie, when he next saw her.

"Hey," she said, pulling her headphones down. "How's the fanfiction been treating you?"

Dean looked around. Sam wasn't in the room. "I think I learned that I sort of also like dudes," Dean confessed. "Well, one dude. And he's a fictional character."

"I feel you," Charlie said. "How do you think I learned that I like girls?" She smiled. "Me and Hermione, we go _way_ back."


End file.
